Consciousness Journal: Cat Poop and Extraterrestrials
Starting at 9 years old, I started having metaphysical things happen to me starting with talking with my deceased grandpa. To speed things along, I had my first out of body experience (OBE) at 12 and began the mindful practice thereof at 14 after reading Far Journeys by Robert Monroe. Good news! Turns out I wasn’t crazy… I was just in a much smaller subset of children who practice deliberate OBEs. Chances are if you were an abused child, or were a witness to abuse, you too might have disassociated from your physical self to find a safer place.
And to be clear, OBEs come in a bunch of flavors: remote viewing, astral projection, lucid dreaming, dream time, past life regression… hell, even some literature includes orgasm as an OBE in that you have disassociated from your physical sensory inputs. Yes, surfing the wave of endorphins and oxytocin will do that. And saying “out of body” goes over better in polite conversation than saying “dick drunk”. Anyway…
While reading Chaucer in old English and singing in five languages may make you appear crazy, I was pretty sure I was not.
Before my near death experience (NDE) in 2005, I graduated with a double major in Education (English) and Music (Opera). My intention was to become a professor of ancient and medieval literature during the school year and to sing bass / baritone literature around the midwest. While reading Chaucer in old English and singing in five languages may make you appear crazy, I was pretty sure I was not.
Skipping ahead to 2011, my mom committed suicide and as the only child and Executor, I had shit to do. She’d been hoarding for about a decade. One of my inherited joys was the archaeological dig that was the main bath’s bathtub. It was one of those nice deep tubs from the 1970’s. Mom had decided to turn it into the litterbox for her two cats. It was sad, peculiar and amusing all at the same time as I chiseled through the strata of excrement and assorted brands of litter. In case you were wondering, I was able to determine the Christmas layer when I found a morsel with a strand of festive tinsel therein.
From 2011–2012, I was able to essentially gut the condo and bring it back. I was nearly finished with the project and ready to return to my normal life when something amazing happened to me. And it was amazing based on MY life’s experiences. I re-experienced my NDE except I got to see the Director’s Cut.
Fuck. I’ve finally broken my brain.
After being introduced to the heavenly host, and before it was explained to me why I had to return, I remembered that I had become music and sang with angels. With the full near death experience in my waking consciousness, I rolled out of bed, put my feet on the newly tiled floor and said, “Fuck. I’ve finally broken my brain.”
There were SO MANY QUESTIONS that followed my 2005 NDE that I eventually had to put them in a mental box and surrender without getting any explanation. I still had to work a job, pay my divorce attorney, defer my student loan payments, and participate in the charade of human existence. Then, I had another box for what I found in the condo in 2011 — a box of questions that would never be answered like why did mom need 5 sweepers when there was no room to walk in her 1,800 square foot condo?
To help determine if I was going insane (and I’m not even kidding), I reached out to a local group that supported people who had experienced a near death event. The group was called IANDS — the International Association for Near Death Studies. It turns out there are about a million NDEs a year in the US and I was one in a million.
I wept. Like an orphan…which I was.
Mom’s condo became a metaphor for me. It looked the same from the outside but the inside had been overhauled and either repaired or replaced. Same with me. I was rebuilding from the inside out. Again, I was in a small subset of people. From children who have OBEs to adults who have NDEs, I was a unicorn among unicorns.
In the process of reintegration / re-entry turbulence of trying to return to humanity’s status quo, I made a discovery. I had PTSD. I had learned what PTSD looked like from nursing school. I had family who had PTSD following Vietnam. I had both an objective and subjective frame of reference. Looking at the treatment protocol for PTSD, I developed an intake form so that I could help myself understand what I was going through and have a way to help others. Pain hurts less when it can help serve others.
Finally, I learned that I was not alone.
My PTSD treatment protocol applied to me and to my family members. But I needed more data to confirm my suspicions. That’s when I asked IANDS for help. I told them I was a nurse who had been building clinical trial databases for about a decade and wondered if I could help them? Soon thereafter, I had over 200 questionnaires that had been completed by other people like myself. It was one of the largest healing events of my life. Finally, I learned that I was not alone.
Also, my treatment protocol fit nearly every person.
But, as clinical trials have taught me, a testing pool of a couple hundred people is not significant. So, I persisted. Another group similar to IANDS was ACISTE — American Center for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences. From the STErs I learned that smarter people than I had already made the PTSD connection and had also created a treatment protocol.
Through ACISTE, I became a Certified Peer Spiritual Counselor. I shored up this learning by also becoming a Plenary Guardian for the State of Florida and earned my Certification to do mental healthcare assessments which would be presented to the 12th Circuit Court Judge. With that, I felt I had the educational knowledge and the experiential wisdom to be of service. Still, I wanted more data. I needed more people who had PTSD from sources which have little to no support. That’s when I discovered MUFON.
UFO abductees also have PTSD.
MUFON — the Mutual UFO Network is a volunteer organization that documents UFO encounters and offers support to those who need it. As it turned out, my treatment protocol, the training I received, and the patient presentation of symptoms I had expected were present. UFO abductees also had PTSD.
(I know this is a long wind up. I apologize. Grab a beverage, have a stretch, pull someone’s finger, and come on back when you’re ready.)
In my head, I had the Venn Diagram of NDErs, STErs, and abductees. I had validated my treatment protocol enough to satisfy my own mind. While it was only several hundred people, it was consistent in my findings over nearly a decade. It was then that I was willing to let people know that I could help them with their own re-entry turbulence and that my scope of experience was subjective and crossed over a couple of root causes.
A website was rebranded. Business cards were printed. Local talks had started. Then, the damn Pentagon tapes were released from AATIP showing the UFOs now known as Go Fast, Gimbal, and TicTac. This shift of reality was much easier back when I learned Santa wasn’t real.
It is now part of the congressional record… we have both extraterrestrial craft and the associated “biologics”
Yes, I have been a proponent of UFOs and alien life. I was a latchkey kid and I watched Star Trek, Space 1999, Battlestar Galactica, and Buck Rogers. But they were fantasy, right? Right?
Not any more. It is now part of the congressional record that decorated military officers have confirmed that we have both extraterrestrial craft and the associated “biologics”. Now I feel like I need to watch every episode of Ancient Aliens because it is no longer entertainment, It’s a primer for the new world. We will need to rethink damn near everything.
Part of my re-thinking? Are abductions and OBEs attempts at an intervention?
(Insert noise of half the population’s sphincters slamming shut.)
Look, if homo sapiens have been under observation for the past 5,000, 8,000, or 12,000 years, it’s because Earth is a longitudinal experiment measuring the development of human kind. Again, here comes my clinical trial references… when you have a longitudinal trial, there are sometimes unpredictable events that need to be addressed to protect the integrity of the trial as a whole. Maybe poor design necessitated the creation of an amended protocol. Maybe unexpected behavior within the experiment necessitated a counterpoint to re-establish equilibrium. And maybe the same beings that set up the experiment have other researchers who have competing priorities? Maybe a “frenemy” attempted to sabotage the experiment?
With all of my preamble out of the way, here’s my mental chew toy d’jour: Are abductions a physical intervention and OBEs a non-physical intervention performed by non-terrestrial beings to protect the experiment that is us?
(Insert sound of a screen door slamming shut.)
Having all 3 groups (Abductees, NDErs, STErs) in my head, and isolating the outliers, the parallels appeared.
- Rapid movement toward an indescribable light & superior intelligence
- A sense of being “somewhere else,” in a foreign or unfamiliar environment
- Encounters with intellectually / technologically superior being(s) where communication is mind-to-mind
- A download or a flood of knowledge about life on Earth, the health of the environment, and the nature of the universe
- Intense emotions that are hard to communicate accurately to others
- Loss of support from traditional systems (spouse, family, friends, religion)
- Desire to improve the human condition and share information learned
Look, I”m the first to admit that this is not a fully thought out hypothesis. I am still defining the parameters and shared attributes. But, I have had a NDE, a STE, and I was chased off the Moon by a reptilian while I was remote viewing something I shouldn’t have. (And this is how you bury the lead.)
The seasoning for my mental chew toy includes:
Homo sapiens have been under observation for 2,000 years based on the Bible, 5,000 years based on European and Middle East cave art, 8,000 years based on Sumarian and Egyptian literature, and 12,000 years based on archeoastronomy.
Having worked on a few longitudinal clinical research studies over the past 22 years… Having built a few research databases over the years… Having had to rescue studies due to poor trial design, unexpected developments, or external contamination, I think I know an experiment’s intervention when I see it.
Thanks for not bailing out if you’re still with me.
I invite your thoughts. I also encourage you to forward this to your friends as my “radical” behavior has not kept me employed in the pharma-tech world. But if people were aware of social engineering tactics, ignored the distractions, looked at world events and asked the famous question, “cui bene?”, you will know we’re living in radical times.
One example? The difference of day to day life from 1800 to 1900 was not too different. But from 1900 to 2000, we went from hot air balloons to space travel using reusable aircraft. In nearly every domain of human endeavor, the past twenty years have shown the continuation of the exponential slope revealed in the 20th century. In my mind, I’m asking, what’s the rush? Why are we standing on the necks of people to see over the fence of collaborative reality?
It’s because the reality we’re living in is a lie and the ability to hide it is evaporating on one end and the frequency has become too dissonant to support. If they can close the technological gap, then the magnitude of the lie is diminished.
But that’s my next journal entry.
If you can, before 2026, watch Ancient Aliens, Skinwalker Ranch and read some Zacharia Sitchen. None are exact but all will give you info to help you compensate. Also, expect bigger fires, stronger storms, and famine based immigration.
Peace y’all
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_Aerospace_Threat_Identification_Program
